CHAPTER NINE

Now that his success did not depend on society, Clifford no longer had as many people to the house. Although Connie did not necessarily like most of the people who used to come, she felt all the more lonely now that it was usually just she and Clifford at home.

Clifford got deeper and deeper into the mining industry, and it was amazing to watch him as he took control over the managers, engineers, and workers of the plant. He had excellent leadership skills and he commanded respect among all of the men of the workforce.

But Connie knew that inside, behind that tough-looking appearance, Clifford was a very weak and sensitive man. He showed this part of himself to no one but Connie, for she was the only person in the world with whom he felt weak and unimpressive. She somehow made him aware of this side of himself, so he treated her very gently and almost seemed to worship her like a god. He felt that he needed her. It seemed to him that without her he would be nothing and could do none of the things he had, so far, achieved.

Connie hated to see this weakness in him, because it made it necessary for her to remain with him. He was totally dependent on her.

She had, however, ways of escaping for short periods of time. The woods always gave her a small sense of freedom. One day as she was resting by the little well, listening to the water run over the rocks, the gamekeeper suddenly appeared.

"Hello there, your Ladyship! I got that key made for you!" He took a key from his pocket and handed it to her.

"Thank you very much!" she said in return.

"I've still got a few things in the hut, but I'll soon have it all moved so I won't bother you with my work."

"I told you before! Your work would not bother me at all!" she said a little upset.

"Anyhow, I'll have all the birds in their cages early next week," he said and then let out a little cough.

Hearing this, Connie noticed that he looked a little unwell. "Are you ill?" she asked.

"Not at all, your Ladyship. Just a little cough left over from an earlier illness," he said.

She began to visit the hut almost every day after that. And each day the cages for the birds became closer and closer to being finished. Connie never once saw the gamekeeper during her visits. Yet, just as he had said, early the following week, the cages were filled with birds and bird-eggs. Connie loved to look at them as they sat and warmed the eggs. She tried to feed them from her hand, but found that the birds were not very friendly towards her.

Soon, the birds were the only thing in Connie's life that made her feel good about living. Everything else, everyone else, Clifford, Mrs Bolton, Michaelis' letters, they all made her feel empty and disappointed. She felt so sad that she thought she might die if things continued in this way.

Then, one day, she found that one of the eggs had opened and a baby bird was running about the cage. Seeing such a pure and unafraid being made Connie feel both excited and terribly sad. She felt so old and useless.

From that time on, she made it a point to visit the birds every day. However, there were days when she was unable to go, due to her responsibility as a hostess for Clifford's occasional business guests.

One night, while some men were at the house for tea, Connie secretly left the house through the back door and ran through the woods to the birdcages. When she arrived, she saw the gamekeeper there, preparing the cages for the evening.

"So, how are they doing? Any more babies?" she asked, looking into the many cages before her.

"I think there are about thirty-six of them now. A pretty good number," he answered.

"I wish that I could touch one of them," she said slowly putting her hand into the cage to pet one of the babies. The mother, however, bent down and bit Connie's hand and Connie quickly pulled her hand away.

"Ouch! I would never hurt one of her birds! She didn't have to do that!"

The gamekeeper just laughed and placed his hand into the cage. The mother bit him, as well, but he was used to it, so he easily grabbed one of the little ones and carefully placed it in Connie's hands.

"Oh, they are so cute!" She cried.

Both, Connie and the gamekeeper, sat looking happily at the little bird in her hands. Then the man noticed a wet spot on Connie's arm. She was crying. He immediately stood up and walked away from her. He feared the emotions running through him and felt the need to get away from her. He did not want to be brought back into contact with the outside world. Feelings like he had just had were dangerous and did nothing but open doors to troubles he had long been trying to forget.

When he turned around again, he found her trying to gently put the bird back into its cage. She was having some difficulty due to her fear of the mother bird, so he walked back over to her and helped. Connie then turned away and began to cry a little harder. A strong feeling of pity ran through him. He felt sorry for her and wanted to comfort her, somehow. Without even realizing it, he put his hand on Connie's shoulder and then began to gently run his hand along her backside. He was not thinking about what he was doing. His hand simply did what it felt it should do.

"Why don't you go on over to the hut for a little bit," he suggested, as he helped her to her feet and led her back to the little wooden shelter. Once inside, he cleared the furniture from the center of the room and laid a blanket on the ground for Connie to lie upon. He then helped her to the ground and shut the door. The hut had no windows, so the room became very dark. Moments later Connie felt the gamekeeper lie down next to her and begin to touch her body all over with his hands.

His touch was extremely gentle. Connie could feel the nervous excitement in his hands. He knew how to touch a woman, but it was obvious that he was a little unsure of himself with Connie. He then kissed her face and slowly pulled her panties down over her feet. His passion was so great that he did not wait long to put himself inside of her. Immediately, he felt peaceful within her warmth. And she felt it, as well, although she did not move during their lovemaking.

He finished quickly and then lay against her, holding her tightly. Connie remained still, wondering why this had had to happen in order to make her feel better. She did not quite understand him or herself. She liked the feeling of his body against hers, but she wondered what it all meant to him.

A short while later, he got up and dressed. Then he pulled Connie's dress down over her legs and walked out the door. Once she felt that her clothes were back in order, she, too, left the hut and found herself under the light of a bright moon.

The gamekeeper accompanied her back to the park entrance.

"Do you regret what we've just done?" he eventually asked after a long silence.

"Not at all!" she answered. "Do you?"

"Well, maybe a little. Life has started all over again for me. I hadn't planned for that to happen, but now it has happened and there's nothing I can do about it."

"I hope you don't hate me!" Connie said.

"Hate you? I don't hate you! I just worry about Sir Clifford and the rest. I enjoyed our time together. I really did!"

"And so did I," she said, although this was not entirely true, for she had been a little surprised by it all and, therefore, was unable to enjoy it as much as she had wanted to.

"Well, I'll let you go alone from here."

"Yes, that's a good idea."

And then Connie turned and walked through the park to the house. After a few steps she suddenly whirled around and asked, "Would you like for me to visit you again?"

"Of course!" the gamekeeper replied.

He remained standing there as she walked on toward the house. It upset him to think that he was now, once again, in touch with the world. No longer could he hide from people; she had taken that from him. He wanted to be so far away from people and, yet, here he was about to start a relationship with a woman, which would bring him a lot of social difficulties.

Late, the next afternoon, even though it was raining, Connie went to the hut. When she arrived, no one was there, so she decided to have a look inside the hut. Everything was put back in its place again.

The night was silent through the rain. She knew he was not coming, so she decided to return to the house. However, just then, she saw the gamekeeper's dog come running from the nearby path. Seconds later, the gamekeeper, himself, appeared. He walked over to her.

"Is it safe for you to come here so often?" he asked her, "Don't you worry that people will talk."

"I don't see why I should worry," Connie answered.

"You know how people are."

"I don't care."

"Yes, but maybe you should care. What will people say when they know you've been with one of your husband's workers?"

"I don't care what others think. You would understand if you knew my situation better." Then Connie thought for a moment and said, "Are you just worried about yourself?"

"I am worried, actually, but for both of us," the gamekeeper replied, "I just don't want you to do this and then regret it later on."

"Please, let's forget about all of those people and do what we feel is right!"

"Why don't we go inside where it's warm and dry?"

They entered and the gamekeeper lit one of the hanging lights near the doorway.

"I have to be back to the house by seven thirty," Connie said as the gamekeeper began to clear a place on the floor for them. He put a couple of blankets down and then took Connie by the hand and gently pulled her down to the ground. He then pulled up her shirt and began to rub his face against her stomach and chest. Then rolling her over a little, he began to do the same along her back and down along her round buttocks. Connie was not sure what made him want her so much. Something inside of her almost did not want him to touch her so much, but the other half welcomed it gladly. She was even a little afraid.

He soon entered her with his penis and he immediately felt safe and comfortable inside. She, however, remained a little distant from him. She wanted to feel what he seemed to feel, but she could not. He was deep inside of her, but something about it all made her almost want to laugh. She noticed how his buttocks moved up and down and thought about how stupid men looked when they were having sex. How could a woman take such a thing very seriously?

Afterward, when he had finished and then rolled over on his back next to her, she lay there very quietly and then began to cry silent tears. He did not realize that she was crying, but he turned and put his arms around her to keep her warm.

"I'm sorry, but I have to get back to the house," she said, trying to hide the shakiness of her voice.

He did not seem to want to let her go, but he then quickly rose to his feet and dressed. She too pulled down her dress and straightened her clothes for her return to Wragby.

"I'll walk you back; it's too dark for you to walk through those woods alone. You'll fall over all those tree roots."

At the gate, the gamekeeper took hold of Connie before she could pass through.

"I love to touch you," he said with great desire in his voice.

"I really have to go," she insisted, pushing him from her. She started to walk quickly away, but then, suddenly, turned around and asked him to kiss her one last time. He put his arms around her and kissed her cheek and then her mouth, for she pushed her lips forward to show that she wanted a kiss there, as well.

"You come see me soon, huh?" he said as he let go of her.

And then she was gone. They did not see each other for four days after that, for Connie tried to stay away so that she could enjoy the feeling of someone waiting for her. But after the fourth day, she wanted, more than anything, to see the gamekeeper again. Even so, on the fifth morning she walked in the opposite direction from the woods, toward her neighbor's farm, Marehay farm.

When she arrived at the gate, a dog began to bark at her from the other side of the fence. Connie feared dogs, so she did not try to pass through the door. Soon, her neighbor, Mrs Flint, came out of her front door to see what was wrong. Seeing Connie there, she apologized for her dog and invited her inside. Connie accepted, although she was not in the mood to talk. They chatted a bit over tea and then Mrs Flint brought her baby in for Connie to see. Connie was amazed by the purity and innocence of the little person. The feeling so overwhelmed her that she then gave the child back to its mother and stood up to go. Mrs Flint walked her back to the path. As she watched her neighbor run back to her house, Connie thought about how lucky she was to have a baby.

Then a noise frightened her from behind. She turned around and found the gamekeeper standing in the path.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I just wanted to go to Marehay," she answered, still a little surprised.

"Have you gone to the hut?"

Connie felt embarrassed by this question and looked away for a moment before answering. "No! I'm really late. Clifford will wonder where I am."

"Are you trying to avoid me?" he asked with a little smile.

"Of course not! I ... I just ... "

"What's wrong? Come here," he said as he approached her and put his arm around her, pressing their bodies close together.

"I can't do this now. I have to get back."

She said this, but desire was starting to grow deep within her. He wrapped his arms tighter around her and told her that he had to have her. He could not wait any longer.

"Come, let's go over there. Nobody will see us."

She let him pull her to an area where there were a lot of trees to hide behind. There, he took off his coat and laid it on the ground for her to lay upon. She looked into his eyes and could see how much he wanted her. Soon he was on top of her, his skin touching hers and then he came into her. She remained very still and let him do all of the work. As he moved about inside of her she began to feel a strong sense of pleasure that began between her legs and started to move outward to all parts of her body. Something was very different. This feeling she was experiencing was a new one. She was crying out and did not even realize it. With every move the gamekeeper made, a great feeling passed through her entire body. Her cries became louder and louder and then they stopped at the same time that the gamekeeper reached his climax. Then they both lay there silent and out-of-breath. Soon, the gamekeeper stood up and began to put his trousers on. Connie did not move; she was still a little lost inside herself. She wished he had not gotten up, but stayed there with her. She hoped that he would always be with her, from this day forward.

"It seems that we had our orgasm together," he said while pulling his shirt over his head, "There are many people in the world who never once experience that in their lives."

"Have you ever done that with any other women?" Connie asked, knowing that he would not tell her the truth.

"I'm not really sure."

He kneeled down to where she was laying, and kissed her forehead. Then, helping Connie to her feet and brushing all of the sticks and leaves from her clothing, he said, "You'd better go on back alone. I'll wait here for a while."

She smiled at him and then started to walk back down the path toward Wragby. As she walked, she thought about how strongly she seemed to feel about the gamekeeper, and how wonderful it would be to have a child from this man. But then, this very same feeling started to frighten her, because she feared losing control of herself. Connie fought with her feelings, but, in the end, decided to take a chance at falling in love with him.

"I visited the Flint's home to see their baby," Connie told Clifford later that day, "I hope you weren't worried."

"No, no. I assumed you'd stopped in somewhere for tea," he answered. However, Clifford did notice something different in Connie, but he thought it had only to do with the baby she had seen.

"Well, I've been saying all along that it'd be the best thing for you to get out more often," Mrs Bolton said. She had the feeling that the Lady must have a lover, but she could not guess who it might be.

For the rest of the day and night, Clifford felt a little uncomfortable with Connie. In the evening, she did not listen when he read to her, but sat there sewing a dress for the Flint's baby. And at the end of the night she did not even bother to kiss him before going to her room. He was terribly angry. "What a selfish woman!" he thought to himself, "A baby! She wants a baby only for herself, not for us!"

Late into the night Clifford stayed up playing chess with Mrs Bolton. He found her company very comforting, for he knew that she would always be there for him as long as he could pay her.

Mrs Bolton, meanwhile, was thinking about her dead husband, Ted, and the Lady's mysterious lover. She felt that she could somehow understand and share Lady Chatterley's dislike of Sir Clifford, but this did not prevent her from enjoying the "honor" of playing cards with him, even though she lost every time.

The gamekeeper was also without sleep this night. He was thinking about his past: his wife, who he now hated more than anyone in the world; his time in the military in both India and Egypt, where he began as a horseman and moved up to the position of an officer; his return to England and the desire to live a simple life, away from people.

He did not want to care about anything or anyone anymore, but then this woman came along and brought meaning back into his life. Now he had to start worrying again, worrying about her husband, about his wife, about the talk around the village, and about the future.

He got up and went outside with his dog. He walked all night, looking for hunters, trying to forget his worries. At the end of the night, he found himself standing in front of Wragby Hall. He wanted to be with her. If he had known which room was hers, he might very well have entered the house and gone to her.

At that moment, Mrs Bolton turned off the light and went to close the curtains, but, as she looked outside the window, she saw a dark figure standing in the distance with a gun in his hand. She was frightened at first; however, as she looked closer, she saw that it was the gamekeeper. He had not seen her, for he was too busy looking up at the second story windows like a lost lover.

"Wait! That's it!" she thought to herself, "Oliver Mellors is Lady Chatterley's lover!" She could not help but laugh a little inside herself when she thought about how angry Sir Clifford would be if he knew.

Then the gamekeeper turned and walked away from the house, his dog following close behind. He had decided to let Connie come to him. He knew that he could not force her to be with him, it could only happen if they both wanted it. So, he headed back to his home to wait patiently for her.

(end of section)